# Informal Conflict Transformation Procedure

Use the below steps first when addressing a conflict with someone. However, if using these tools does not see satisfactory change within 4 weeks, refer the matter to People Operations.  

## 1. Personal Reflection 

* Think through what happened. Take time and space to process and clarify your thinking if you feel confused, overwhelmed, or are experiencing strong emotions
* Use these [Self-Reflection Questions](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources#self-reflection-questions) to help you improve your clarity and self-awareness, connect with your feelings and needs, and choose next steps
* Ask yourself what part you played/are playing in the situation, what you could have done differently, and what your needs are to improve the situation
* Note uncertainties and possible misunderstandings in your interactions, including cultural differences
* Distinguish disagreement from personal hostility. We're allowed to disagree, dissent and discuss
* Ask yourself if any new ideas, insights or possibilities have emerged to meet your needs
* Review our [Conflict Transformation Resources](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources)
* If you require external support, move to Step 2.

## **2. Individual support**

* Talk to a trusted friend, colleague or your steward to work through your own perspective, feelings and experience
* If you need it, ask your steward for empathy to help you self-connect or for silent listening
* Ask your steward to check your assumptions, e.g. using the [ladder of inference](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources#ladder-of-inference) or other similar tool/process
* If you still feel a charge around the issue, ask your steward for support in going through this [Transforming Enemy Image Process](https://workdrive.zoho.eu/file/674nidecb92ae69e44420a1f881cb7dadf5c2) together
* If you feel you need to go beyond individual work to resolve the problem, move to Step 3a if the tension is with an individual or Step 3b if it is a wider group issue. 

## 3. Direct Communication 

### **a. One to one**

* As long as you feel safe and the power balance and tone is conducive to constructive discussion, approach the person in question and talk it out. Be mindful of picking a good time and place (privacy, lack of time pressure, mutually agreed location).
* Make sure you are as emotionally prepared as possible before the one-to-one:
  * You may like to use these [Guidelines for Giving and Receiving Feedback](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/our-approach-to-communication-and-feedback#giving-and-receiving-feedback) and/or review these [Communication Methods to Promote Shared Understanding](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources#communication-methods-to-promote-shared-understanding) to help you prepare what you’d like to say. These resources will help you to make a clear request (as opposed to a judgment or a demand) and increase the chances the other person will hear it and respond with a yes, no or counterproposal
  * You may like to use this [simple structure for a direct conversation](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources#simple-structure-for-a-direct-conversation) to help you say what you need to say during the conversation
  * You may also like to practise what you might say and dealing with challenging ways the other person might respond with your steward or through journaling beforehand 
  * If you still feel an emotional charge around the issue or person, go through another ‘Transforming Enemy Image Process’ (a simple process can be found [here](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources#transforming-enemy-images-laser-tool)).
* If you don’t feel like you can work it out one-on-one, or if a one-to-one conversation does not resolve the issue or help find a mutually agreeable solution, move to Step 3(b) or Step 4. 

### **b. With the group** 

* Depending on the nature of the issue you may decide to raise it in a group space or [Matrix or Silent Sitting Circle](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/culture/care-connection-and-support). 
* If you don’t feel like this has resolved the issue or that any of these spaces are appropriate, move to Step 5.

## 4. Supported Conversation 

* Bring in a trusted peer or your steward to host a conversation with the people involved. The other party might want to bring their steward, too. The peer/steward can act as mediator but they can’t impose a resolution

**If using these tools does not see satisfactory change within 4 weeks, refer the matter to People Ops.**

##

## Resources

Additional resources on conflict transformation and communication to promote shared understanding can be found [here](https://animal-think-tank.gitbook.io/handbook/guides-for-working-at-att/feedback-and-conflict/conflict-transformation-resources).

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